“The 60th birthday is a big one to Jews, for it means one has avoided at least one of the definitions of karet, which is premature death. And with it one is officially welcomed into the ranks of zikna, old age (Avot 5:25):, JONATHAN ROSENBLUM
When I was in my twenties I wondered if life would be worth living without sex. In the days before I turned sixty I wondered if it would be worth living without reading. Life changes. So do priorities.
During my college years one of the nightmares about Vietnam (possibly apocryphal) concerned a diabolical Viet Cong weapon. It was an IED-type bomb that propelled up between the legs of a soldier, blowing off his genitalia but leaving him alive. It maimed without killing because its real purpose was to instill fear. And it worked. Even among potential draftees millions of miles away. I remember discussing it with my dorm mates: “Would life be worth living if you couldn’t have sex?” Most of us thought not.
Approaching sixty this summer I was contemplating the pleasures in life and realized how paramount reading was to my list. Sex barely makes the cut these days.
You can’t really love life without loving transience. But Sixty? Sixty means you can’t kid yourself anymore about saying goodbye to youth, about the best days being ahead, about writing the great American novel. ‘Fifty is the new forty’ has some credibility. ‘Sixty is the new forty’ is a punch line. I’ve embraced every age I’ve passed through in life, but sixty is different. Is there anything good about turning sixty other than it beats the alternative which is not making it to sixty?!?!
Well, my cowlick doesn’t stick up anymore. The hair is too thin around the crown.
And there are those senior discounts. I remember the first time I got one. It was at Hershey Park where the age limit was fifty-four. Senior citizen at fifty-four? Now that was so ridiculously presumptive it made me laugh! When movie theaters began giving me a discounted ticket without asking I was somewhat offended. Now I make sure the ticket includes the discount.
And I can’t really think of anything else that’s an advantage.
I know there are those who wouldn’t trade the wisdom of age for the vitality of youth but is there anyone who wouldn’t trade the end of middle age for the beginning of middle age? Let’s say sixty for forty?
My father always repeated: “Where I am, so you shall be.” And I see more and more of his life (and his features) mirrored in my own. My mother always said: “Don’t get old, Richard. Don’t get old.” And each time I lift myself out of a car seat or a mattress with a huff and a grunt I’m reminded of her unheeded warning. On the other hand, having a child in one’s life reminds you of all the pains and perceptions of puerility. At sixty they seem closer and more graphic in memory than they did twenty years ago! When Kyle is hurt because a girl he likes is casually cruel, anxious about being liked in school or nervous before a test I flash on similar incidents and feelings I had in elementary school. When a young girl flirted with Kyle’s cousin and he was upset because she didn’t pay attention to him suddenly I vividly saw the double date I had with Robert Friedman. We drove all the way out to Brooklyn to meet two girls from Lincoln High School. Both girls ended up liking him and I was surly and sore the entire day. I hadn’t thought of that in years and all of a sudden it was an intense and clear memory. It was clearer, more emotionally accessible than things that happened ten years ago. The older my parents got the more they talked of their childhoods. And they talked about them in detail like they’d happened last week. As we get older do we get closer to our childhoods like some merry-go-round returning to its original spot?
AARP (which I joined a while ago) did a survey among its members turning sixty. It was done in 2006, a different time from the one we live in now but quite a few of its findings surprised me. Only 37% said turning sixty was a more important milestone than turning 50. Only 1% said that age was stopping them from achieving what they want out of life and 31% reported that nothing is stopping them from achieving what they want. A pretty optimistic lot these Baby Boomers! I wonder if the results would be the same if the survey was taken today.
I just thought of another advantage to turning 60. Maybe I’ll stop having those dreams where a voice tells me there is still time to get married, have children, start a new career, climb the mountain. In those dreams my brain becalms me “Don’t worry. You’re only in your forties. There is plenty of time left for all that.” I really do have those dreams. And they are soothing. Then I wake up. And I remember…
It’s the opposite of a nightmare.
The good thing is, I turned 60 last month and I haven’t had one since.
SIXTY YEARS AND TWELVE YEARS AT "TRANSFORMERS 3-D"
